"Take it back and you make me nervous /Nothing better then love and service"

This has been such a horrible week, I can't even begin to describe it. I got really sick on Wednesday evening. On Thurday morning, I went to the infirmiry and it turned out that I had a fever and a bad cold. Early Friday morning, I woke up and went to get a drink of water. I ended up fainting twice and landing on my face both times. I ended up with a really badly busted lip and one front tooth that got knocked back a bit. I went to the doctor on Friday, who said my blood pressure was too low and that I may not be getting enough protein. I also had to get my blood taken. While that sucked, I was proud of myself for not passing out during the procedure, as I usually do. I'm feeling a little better now, but I still don't have much of an appetite. I've lost about 10 pounds recently from that. Now with my lip and tooth, it's even harder to eat. Hopefully, I can go to the dentist tomorrow and get my tooth fixed. My lip is going to take a while to heal, unfortunately. I look like a prizefighter and it sucks.
Ok. I'm done ranting for now.

no regrets

I'm in the process of filling out transfer applications because I'm planning to transfer colleges after this upcoming semester. I forgot how incredibly burdensome the applications can be. I'm quite relieved to have finally come to a decision, though. It was something that I had been having a fair amount of trouble deciding. I hope I get accepted! *fingers crossed*

life is beautiful.

This randomly came to me this evening and I decided to post it here.

I used to have a lot of problems with my appearance and my body.
I thought my skin was too pale.
I thought my nose looked funny.
I had problems with acne.
I thought I was too short.
I thought I was fat.
In short, I couldn't stand the reflection in the mirror.
Society sets strict guidelines for beauty.
A nice dark tan.
Perfect nose.
Perfect complexion.
Tall.
Perfect figure.
I have one question for society: What is perfect?
Wait, I can answer that one.
There's no such thing.
Nobody is perfect.
Not one of us.
Who wants to be perfect anyway?
That would be rather boring.
I've learned a thing or two since then.
I've learned to love my pale skin.
It looks unique with my dark hair, like Snow White.
I learned to love my nose.
It fits my face perfectly.
I learned that I'm not the only one with acne.
After all, it's only temporary.
I've learned to love being short.
I'll never have to worry about being taller than my boyfriend.
I've learned that I am not fat.
I am curvy, because I am a WOMAN.
I will admit that I still have insecurties.
Major insecurities.
Who doesn't?
Sure, I get frustrated sometimes...
When I go to the beach and am the only one without a tan
When my nose just doesn't seem to look right
When my skin breaks out
When I can't quite reach the top shelf
When I can't fit into a nice pair of jeans.
Then I remind myself that all those things
No matter how bothersome
Are what make me unique!
When I have one of those days
When the frustration outweighs the happiness
It helps to look in the mirror and say
"I am beautiful".
Because, you know what?
It's true.
There is no such thing as ugly.
Corny though it may be
Everyone is beautiful.
All you have to do is believe it, own it, and live it.

"...when you see a chance, take it..."

So it's 2009. It doesn't feel too much different, but I don't suppose it should.
I have come to the decision that I am going to transfer after my sophomore year. I just don't feel happy where I am right now for multiple reasons. I hope I don't regret this, but I doubt I will. I've thought this through quite a bit, and the pros outweigh the cons.
Otherwise, there is not too much going on right now. I'm enjoying time off relaxing at home and seeing family and friends. It's quite nice not having to be around people 100% of the time. Don't get me wrong, I love being around people, but sometimes it's nice to have some alone time. Everyone needs that once in a while.
I really need to review Spanish. I'm taking Spanish II next semester and I've forgotten a great deal of what I learned in Spanish I senior year.
Ok, that is all for now. I'm off to read...goodnight!

"...my castles stand upon pillars of salt, pillars of sand..."

As 2008 nears its end, I decided to compile a list of New Years Resolutions. I usually avoid making resolutions due to my crippling lack of self-discipline and willpower that cause me to break them. I decided that I'm going to give resolutions another try. So far I have:
1. Take more pictures, blog often, write in a journal, and document my first-year college experience in general. I tried valiantly to write in my journal every day first semester, but that failed after about a week and a half. I'm dissapointed in myself-I wish I could have followed through so I can look back and remember my first year. Oh, well. I still have this semester to give it another go!
2. Organize my dorm room from top to bottom. I plan to ged rid of clothes, rearrange, and get things more organized.
3. Spend more time studying. I did well this past semester, but I still need to spend more time on my studies and work harder. No C's this semester!
4. Try to overcome my shy nature. It held me back a lot from making friends. I'm not saying I'm a hermit with no friends, and I'm extremely grateful for the friends I do have, but I feel like I need to get out more and meet more people.
5. Get my driver's liscence! Yes, I am 18 and still don't have it. Truthfully, I don't have much need for it now because I walk everywhere while I'm at school. However, I would still like to get it so I can have it just in case I do need to drive somewhere.
6. Find and develop my passion. Swimming is a huge passion, not to mention a talent, of mine, but I have no access to a pool, and therefore no outlet to practice and develop my skills. I want to delve into something, anything, and get really talented in that area.
7. Work on becoming fluent in Spanish. I'm taking a Spanish class this semester, so that's a good start!
8. Improve myself physically, mentally and spiritually. The physical part is weight loss, the mental part is sharpening my mind and broadening my horizons through learning, and the spritual part is to give back more, to the community and to the world as a whole.
9. Build up my confidence and stop being so self-deprecating.
10. Take time each week to go sit somewhere secluded and take time for myself.

That sounds like a lot, but I honestly feel like I can accomplish these things. Here's to a much better and healthier year! :D

hello world

I hope that everyone had a magnificent Christmas! :D
So I finally gave into the madness and read Twililght. I actually finished it about 2 months ago, but I've been so busy that I haven't thought about it much. I personally loved it, and, much like thousands of other fangirls, wish Edward was real. I think perhaps most of the reason I wish that is because of how I've been treated by guys. I always manage to pick the boy who will break my heart, and so I now am naturally attracted to the really sweet and gentlemanly guys. That's my theory, anyway. Anywhoozle, I loved the book and I plan to purchase the last 3 in the very near future.
Speaking of the future, this semester went by so fast! I'm starting my second semester of college in about 3 weeks. How crazy is that? It feels like just yesterday I was a freshman in high school! I already have a plan for after graduation-Peace Corps after undergrad, then hopefully grad school to earn my Masters in Psychology and eventually my PhD, although the latter might come later in life. I want to work in either child psychology or forensic psychology. I actually like contemplating the future. It's exciting-it's almost like exploring uncharted land. I hope the future is as bright as I am planning it to be!

Yay!

Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope it's a fantastic one! :D